How I Survived My Controlling Ex-Husband

I know I don’t have bipolar disorder

Just once the wife of one who suffered

With the mental illness

The racing thoughts

I knew he had

The spending sprees he went on

Left his family severely in debt

Had to beg anyone from friends and family

To the church to help with rent

So we weren’t left destitute and homeless

The many moves he felt he had to do

So many places he thought were paradise

But it only lasted a few months

And he was ready to move again

Romance was naught

As he looked elsewhere

For companionship

As well as lovers

Felt I was not worth his time

For romantic interludes in bed

I longed for the love I thought he’d give

But it was all a fantasy

He never wished to fulfill

So romance was put on the shelf

While he claimed to want to find himself

He played with his women til he was finished with them

Then came back to me, the dutiful wife

As I soon grew tired of his straying

I knew he wasn’t going to change

So dissolution of marriage,

Much like the dissolution of our love,

We ended the marriage

He will always be in my heart

Even just a wee bit

That’s just the way things go

When a child is brought into the fix

Now I live my life alone

But I’d rather be alone

Than to live that way again

The pain of wanting his touch

Yet, never receiving any

Is something I’ve be happy to live without

I’ll be an independent person

Live my life on my own terms