Decoy Girlfriend

 

Plot

A middle-aged woman believes she met her soulmate online, but it would all turn out to be a nightmare. (Told mainly through text and email, but may have the occasional phone chat.)

Day 1: The POF Profile

Carey Wiley opens a POF (Plenty of Fish online dating site) account as Lonertoo. She meets what she thinks is a charming guy in Triumphantone.

Triumphantone: Hey gorgeous! Saw UR profile! Wanna chat?

Lonertoo: Hello?

Triumphantone: So, what do U do?

Lonertoo: I’m a CNA. U?

Triumphantone: I’m looking 4 my soulmate.

Lonertoo: No. What do U do?

Triumphantone: Oh, I’m in investing.

Lonertoo: What do you invest?

Triumphantone: Futures.

Lonertoo: Futures?

Triumphantone: My future. . .and URS!

Lonertoo: Mine?

(But Triumphantone logged out before Carey could get a reply. He wouldn’t be back online until the next day, leaving Carey to wonder just who Triumphantone was.)

Day 2: Getting to Know Each Other

(Carey logged into POF, hoping to hear from Triumphantone. To her surprise, he had left several messages.)

Triumphantone: Hey. Sorry I left so abruptly. Had emergency to take care off.

Triumphantone: Babe? U there? Was hoping to chat?

Triumphantone: Hey. I hope U come online?

(After Carey saw her POF messages, she was happy to hear from Triumphantone.)

Lonertoo: Hey. I’m here. Hoping U R 2?

Triumphantone: Where U been? Missed U?

Lonertoo: Sleeping. Had busy day yesterday after her left the site.

Triumphantone: Oh OK. What do U like 2 do 4 fun?

Lonertoo: Reading, writing, movies. I’m an avid soap opera watcher.

Triumphantone: Oh, U watch soaps?

Lonertoo: Yes.

Triumphantone: Other shows?

Lonertoo: I do like crime shows.

Triumphantone: Previous relationships?

Lonertoo: Excuse me?

Triumphantone: Were U N any relationships prior 2 me?

Lonertoo: I’m fresh out of a 10-year marriage that ended badly.

Triumphantone: Oh, do U mind me asking how it ended?

Lonertoo: It was emotionally abusive. My ex as abusive and controlling.

Triumphantone: I’m sorry. U deserve better.

Lonertoo: Yeah. So I’ve been told.

Triumphantone: Do U wanna B my girlfriend?

Lonertoo: Wow! That was fast?

Triumphantone: I wanna protect U. U deserve a great man. One who will treat U better.

(Carey couldn’t reply as her Wi-Fi was cut off.)

Triumphantone: Babe? U there?

(But after several minutes, Triumphantone logged off.)

Day 3: Exclusive Soulmates

Triumphantone: Babe, hello.

Lonertoo: Hello.

Triumphantone: We should tell each other our names.

Lonertoo: Yeah.

Triumphantone: Mine is Reginald Harriston, but you can can call me Reggie.

Lonertoo: Hey Reggie, I’m Carey Wiley.

Reggie: Carey! What a pretty name!

Carey: Thanks.

Reggie: So, R we exclusive?

Carey: Exclusive?!

Reggie: Exclusively N love with each other?

Carey: But we’ve only been talking for 3 days?

Reggie: But I can tell UR my soulmate!

Carey: OK.

Reggie: We have a connection. I can feel it.

Carey: Well, I need more to know that 4 sure.

Reggie: Hmmmm… is it cuz of UR last relationship?

Carey: Part of it.

Reggie: Well, if U stay w/ me, I’ll treat U right.

Carey: Let’s just take it day by day.

Reggie: OK. If U say so, but I know we R made 4 each other!

Carey: Gotta go to work now. TTYL!

Reggie: Bye love!

Carey ended her call and got ready for work. Was Reggie her soulmate? They’ve only been talking for 3 days? And she was fresh from a bad relationship?

Day 4: Ex-Drama

Carey woke to find several texts on her phone, and not from Reggie.

Harvey: Carey, we need 2 talk now!

Harvey: Y RNT U awake?! I need 2 talk 2 U!

Harvey: Dammit, Carey! Wake up!

Harvey: We need to talk! It’s about R daughter!

After Carey looked at the texts that her ex, Harvey left while she was sleeping, she proceeded to send a calm message, but as usual, Harvey blew things out of proportion.

Carey: What is it, Harvey! I just woke up!

Harvey: It’s about time U got back 2 me!

Carey: I was sleeping!

Harvey: Yeah, well UVE always been lazy!

Carey: What do U want, Harvey? I don’t have time 4 UR S**t!

Harvey: Never mind, b***h! Just leave me alone & stop harassing me!

Typically Harvey, always texting her early in the mornings and then getting angry when she was sleeping. Carey didn’t have time to deal with Harvey’s drama.

Carey hopped into the shower to calm down after getting harangued by Harvey. When she got out she saw two messages from Reggie that made her smile.

Reggie: Hey, Babe. Good morning.

Reggie: I miss U!

Carey: Good morning, Reg!

Reggie: How R U?

Carey: I’m OK.

Reggie: What’s wrong, Babe?

Carey: It’s nothing.

Reggie: U can tell me, Babe.

Carey: It’s just the usual bulls**t from my ex.

Reggie: Is he bothering U?

Carey: Nothing I can’t handle.

Reggie: Wish I was there so I could tell him where 2 go!

Carey: Thanks, but it wudnt help matters.

Reggie: Does he know U have a boyfriend?

Carey: No. I haven’t told him.

Reggie: Y not?

Carey: Cuz I don’t want 2.

Reggie: OK.

Carey: I’m going back 2 bed. I’m not feeling so gud.

Reggie: Get sum rest love. TTYL!

Carey went to her room and crawled back to bed to get some more sleep. She was tired after her talk with both Harvey and Reggie.

Day 5: More Ex-Drama

Harvey: Carey, call me back! Now!

Carey saw the notification, but went back to sleep. She didn't want to deal with Harvey's bulls**t so early in the morning.

Harvey: Where are you? We need to talk! It's about our son!

Carey woke up to see the message on her phone. It was always about their son. Manipulation to get her to call him. By the time Carey called Harvey, it was never about their son. Always about him! But knowing if she didn't call him back, she would get s**t from either Harvey or some bitch of a girlfriend.

“Harvey, what is so important?” Carey said agitated and wanting to get the call over with.

“Carey, I need help. I need $500 for rent or my girlfriend and I will be evicted!”

“Sorry, Harvey, but I don't have it.” Carey told him.

“Please, you don't want your son's father to be out on the streets?” Harvey begged.

“No, I don't, but I don't have that kinda cash.” Carey reiterated.

Harvey's current flavor of the month, Kandie, took the phone from Harvey, “Look, bitch, we both know you have the money. Send the money if you don't want trouble!”

As Carey looked at her phone, she couldn't believe the gall some woman had to demand she send money to her boyfriend. But she heard Harvey come back on the line.

“Carey, I think it's in your best interest to send the money.”

“I DON'T HAVE IT!!!” Carey yelled back.

“Well, you better find a way to get it, or else!” Harvey demanded.

“GO TO HELL!!!!” Carey told Harvey.

“Okay, don't say I didn't warn you!” Harvey said firmly but calmly before the call ended.

It was just like Harvey to ask for money and when he didn't get what he wanted, he sicced the girlfriend on her. There was no way she would send the money. What harm could he actually do?! They were divorced. It wasn't her fault if Harvey couldn't pay his bills! And it wasn't up to her to bail him out!!

After the drama from Harvey, it was nice to see a text from Reggie.

Reggie: Hey babe! Good morning!

Carey: Hi! Good morning 2 U!

Reggie: How R U?

Carey: I'm gud now that I've heard from U.

Reggie: Uh oh, what's wrong?

Carey: Just the usual ex drama.

Reggie: He bothering U again?

Carey: Yeah.

Reggie: What did he want?

Carey: Money. As usual.

Reggie: Don't loan him money. He's just using U.

Carey: U don't think I no that?

Reggie: Good. I'm glad to hear that?

It was a few minutes since Carey text back and Reggie was getting irritated that she didn't reply.

Reggie: Babe, where R U?

Carey: Sorry. I was making breakfast.

Reggie: Oh, ok. What R U eating?

Carey: Scrambled eggs, toast and bacon.

Reggie: Hmmmm. That sounds good.

Carey: What did U eat?

Reggie: Oatmeal with brown sugar. Say, can U lend me $400. 2 c U?

Carey: I don't have it.

Reggie: How come?

Carey: Bills.

Reggie: Let them go. They will wait. I need 2 c U.

Carey: But..........

Reggie: Please, so we can meet?

Carey: Okay.

Reggie: Thanks babe. I'll send the address to send it 2.