Decoy Girlfriend

Plot

A middle-aged woman believes she met her soulmate online, but it would all turn out to be a nightmare.  (Told mainly through text and email, but may have the occasional phone chat.)

Day 1:  The POF Profile

Carey Wiley opens a POF (Plenty of Fish online dating site) account as Lonertoo.  She meets what she thinks is a charming guy in Triumphantone.

Triumphantone:  Hey gorgeous!  Saw UR profile!  Wanna chat?

Lonertoo:  Hello?

Triumphantone:  So, what do U do?

Lonertoo:  I’m a CNA. U?

Triumphantone:  I’m looking 4 my soulmate.

Lonertoo:  No.  What do U do?

Triumphantone:  Oh, I’m in investing.

Lonertoo:  What do you invest?

Triumphantone:  Futures.

Lonertoo:  Futures?

Triumphantone:  My future. . .and URS!

Lonertoo:  Mine?

(But Triumphantone logged out before Carey could get a reply.  He wouldn’t be back online until the next day, leaving Carey to wonder just who Triumphantone was.)

Day 2:  Getting to Know Each Other

(Carey logged into POF, hoping to hear from Triumphantone.  To her surprise, he had left several messages.)

Triumphantone:  Hey.  Sorry I left so abruptly.  Had emergency to take care off.

Triumphantone:  Babe?  U there?  Was hoping to chat?

Triumphantone:  Hey.  I hope U come online?

(After Carey saw her POF messages, she was happy to hear from Triumphantone.)

Lonertoo:  Hey.  I’m here.  Hoping U R 2?

Triumphantone:  Where U been?  Missed U?

Lonertoo:  Sleeping.  Had busy day yesterday after her left the site.

Triumphantone:  Oh OK.  What do U like 2 do 4 fun?

Lonertoo:  Reading, writing, movies.  I’m an avid soap opera watcher.

Triumphantone:  Oh, U watch soaps?

Lonertoo:  Yes. 

Triumphantone:  Other shows?

Lonertoo:  I do like crime shows.

Triumphantone:  Previous relationships?

Lonertoo:  Excuse me?

Triumphantone:  Were U N any relationships prior 2 me?

Lonertoo:  I’m fresh out of a 10-year marriage that ended badly.

Triumphantone:  Oh, do U mind me asking how it ended?

Lonertoo:  It was emotionally abusive.  My ex as abusive and controlling.

Triumphantone:  I’m sorry.  U deserve better.

Lonertoo:  Yeah.  So I’ve been told.

Triumphantone:  Do U wanna B my girlfriend?

Lonertoo:  Wow!  That was fast?

Triumphantone:  I wanna protect U.  U deserve a great man.  One who will treat U better.

(Carey couldn’t reply as her Wi-Fi was cut off.)

Triumphantone:  Babe?  U there?

(But after several minutes, Triumphantone logged off.)

Day 3:  Exclusive Soulmates

Triumphantone:  Babe, hello.

Lonertoo:  Hello.

Triumphantone:  We should tell each other our names.

Lonertoo:  Yeah.

Triumphantone:  Mine is Reginald Harriston, but you can can call me Reggie.

Lonertoo:  Hey Reggie, I’m Carey Wiley.

Reggie:  Carey!  What a pretty name!

Carey:  Thanks.

Reggie:  So, R we exclusive?

Carey:  Exclusive?!

Reggie:  Exclusively N love with each other?

Carey:  But we’ve only been talking for 3 days?

Reggie:  But I can tell UR my soulmate!

Carey:  OK.

Reggie:  We have a connection.  I can feel it.

Carey:  Well, I need more to know that 4 sure.

Reggie:  Hmmmm…  is it cuz of UR last relationship?

Carey:  Part of it.

Reggie:  Well, if U stay w/ me, I’ll treat U right.

Carey:  Let’s just take it day by day.

Reggie:  OK.  If U say so, but I know we R made 4 each other!

Carey:  Gotta go to work now.  TTYL!

Reggie:  Bye love!

Carey ended her call and got ready for work.  Was Reggie her soulmate?  They’ve only been talking for 3 days?  And she was fresh from a bad relationship?

Day 4:  Ex-Drama

Carey woke to find several texts on her phone, and not from Reggie.

Harvey:  Carey, we need 2 talk now!

Harvey:  Y RNT U awake?!  I need 2 talk 2 U!

Harvey:  Dammit, Carey!  Wake up!

Harvey:  We need to talk!  It’s about R daughter!

After Carey looked at the texts that her ex, Harvey left while she was sleeping, she proceeded to send a calm message, but as usual, Harvey blew things out of proportion.

Carey:  What is it, Harvey!  I just woke up!

Harvey:  It’s about time U got back 2 me!

Carey:  I was sleeping!

Harvey:  Yeah, well UVE always been lazy!

Carey:  What do U want, Harvey?  I don’t have time 4 UR S**t!

Harvey:  Never mind, b***h!  Just leave me alone & stop harassing me!

Typically Harvey, always texting her early in the mornings and then getting angry when she was sleeping.  Carey didn’t have time to deal with Harvey’s drama.

Carey hopped into the shower to calm down after getting harangued by Harvey.  When she got out she saw two messages from Reggie that made her smile.

Reggie:  Hey, Babe.  Good morning.

Reggie:  I miss U!

Carey:  Good morning, Reg!

Reggie:  How R U?

Carey:  I’m OK.

Reggie:  What’s wrong, Babe?

Carey:  It’s nothing.

Reggie:  U can tell me, Babe.

Carey:  It’s just the usual bulls**t from my ex.

Reggie:  Is he bothering U?

Carey:  Nothing I can’t handle.

Reggie:  Wish I was there so I could tell him where 2 go!

Carey:  Thanks, but it wudnt help matters. 

Reggie:  Does he know U have a boyfriend?

Carey:  No.  I haven’t told him.

Reggie:  Y not?

Carey:  Cuz I don’t want 2.

Reggie:  OK.

Carey:  I’m going back 2 bed.  I’m not feeling so gud.

Reggie:  Get sum rest love.  TTYL!

Carey went to her room and crawled back to bed to get some more sleep.  She was tired after her talk with both Harvey and Reggie.